Epitome of Social Awkwardness

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I sure picked a fine time to get horny, you think. You make a face, inasmuch as one can make a face while kissing. “Horny” is a proletarian expression. A cartoonish word. A word for clowns, galoots, and adolescents. My desires may be crude, but they aren’t frivolous. It would take a far more complicated and heartfelt word than “horny” to measure the dimensions of my wet itch.

I truly love Tom Robbins.


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Ultimate Epiphanies: Knowing people

I never cared to know why you did the things you did or why you said what you said
You hurt me a lot
I could have been spared the pain if I had known you
I’ve come to learn that understanding heals many things

Back then
I didn’t know any better

I didn’t care to know you
You didn’t matter
It never crossed my mind that you were supposed to

You were the last of all my uncaring

I know a little bit better now
I’ve gotten to know a bit about other people and I am slowly falling in love with knowing
I am seduced by the way knowing another person connects me to them so sincerely
I am delighted by the sacrosanctity of sharing things of the self


I don’t know you
In another life, if I got to do us all over again
I’d want to understand everything about you that disconcerted me, that scared me away_

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Knowing You

You spoke to me
The substance in your thinking enticed me
I didn’t understand you though
I couldn’t grasp what you were telling me
I’d like to read your books
I’m hoping that will put us on the same page
You yearned to share your mind with me, your knowledge
I find that to be a sacrosanct thing
A big gift
A gesture of God/Love
A meeting of the minds seems like the premise for a sincere connection


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The ultimate epiphany

I never loved you. I might have claimed I did, I was probably lying.
I never wanted you. I may have said I did, I may have acted like I was disappointed when you fell in love with that other girl. Facades.

I’ll tell you this.
Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you. True story.
You are everywhere. You are like an atom, you are star dust.

I am always thinking about how I feel about you Always trying to pinpoint the honesty of how I felt about you back then Trying to make peace with the fact that you are always on my mind…the same way a person would make peace with going blind or deaf in their mid twenties as a result of an occurrence beyond their power Adapting to a thought more powerful than I am That’s what you are to me now An influence in absentia I feel things in your name in your oblivion You Are like A poltergeist without malevolent and mischievous intent

I keep getting these epiphanies about what really happened during the time I was in your life
Each and every one of them seem like the ultimate truth
This is by far my favorite

"I never loved you. Nor did I want you. But I enjoyed you a lot. And I miss you sometimes."

Filed under life

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You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.
Carl Sagan, Contact   (via fleurlungs)

I’m dying to connect with someone on that deep level


(Source: lost-plots, via fleurlungs)