EsMo

Epitome of Social Awkwardness

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Learning to be a friend

I was willing to bend over backwards as far as possible for you
A choice to be your friend
Bend I did
And it didn’t hurt
I thought it would

I need a friend too
I think
What does that even mean
I’ve been looking for bliss
My life is too concrete
It’s all so heavy and cold, I can’t bear it
I stumbled upon this bliss when you hauled me into your arms and appreciated my existence
Being worthy to someone either than myself felt fucking nice

I think superheroes are constantly drowning on the inside
In an ocean of fatal flames
You were my lifeboat and my fire truck

I feel released, I was never ready for this freedom
I don’t know what to do with relief
I am still floating in your sigh of knowing that you have a friend in me

You are great
You carry the world in your hand like it is made from paper mache
You are a marvel to discover
Your intricacies are a maze and a puzzle at the same time
I just came to you to give my friendship
I got there to find the gift of you with my name on it

I’ll take it_
I still don’t know what it means to be a friend though

Filed under friendship

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Young King

A child
So unfamiliar
The first time I met my nephew
I dropped him
Its been a very long time since I’ve been around a little child
I nearly bumped my friend’s son’s head on the door frame today
That is so scary

Little humans
Seem so precious
A whole life in a small body
A bundle I can carry on my hip
Something I can wrap my entire arm around
Surely children aren’t things
But they are so unfamiliar to me
I am used to carrying laptops and egg trays
Grocery bags and glasses
Handling the body of a child is a whole other thing
I had to be careful while holding him
I had to be aware of myself, lest anything I did broke him
Experiencing the Young King today jolted my psyche

I was intrigued by his composure
He is reserved and calm
A stark contrast to the fidgety, talkative toddlers I’ve encountered in passing
I was moved by his curiosity
Everywhere there was action he would be quick to look and enquire with his gaze

I remember how he looked at me as if he was anticipating an astounding word or action from me
I looked away, thinking “I have nothing to give little man, absolutely nothing”

I felt like a disappointment
I felt inadequate over not being able to amuse the Young God

My friend’s boy is by far the most beautiful little human I’ve ever met
He has a Godly aura
Meeting him is an encounter worth immortalising