EsMo

Epitome of Social Awkwardness

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Trouble

Why does Trouble find me so attractive?
“Kwanele”, I want to say for the umpteenth time
Ho lekane
This has all been more than enough actually, I don’t want anymore of it

This time, I surrender
With a heart gushing sorrow

I am all yours Trouble
Take me
Take all of me
Break me like you always do then leave me for dead
I am tossing aside my protective armour, the entire metal suit

Lets dance
I am barefoot in a garden of thorns and eggshells
I am naked in a hail storm - cold and uncomfortable, I am a lil sore
Drinking dark rum to get drunk. It tastes bitter and ugly but it makes everything feel good
It makes my tongue loose
I told you the life story of my emotions, I undressed my soul of all its clothing, you saw me naked and I loved that so much I can’t wait to do it again

Put your heart by my lips
I’ll give you a sacrosanct kiss
I’ll give you a pinch of gold dust from my last handful
I am something special, giving you something I don’t think you deserve
Take it anyway
Take me
All of me
My whole life
Just take_

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Sidenote

I’m not trying to soldier through this life all on my own. I’m not trying to live like I don’t need anyone. I won’t deny it, I need and want people nearby, in my heart and in my pocket.

But who will have me?

:-/

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You saw me naked_

Its as if
You walked into the room without knocking
Your eyes landed on my stark naked body, they took it all in
I want to wear a baggy shirt and baggy jeans now
I want to wrap myself up thickly in a sheet until you forget what my nakedness looks like
Until all you care about again is just my face
I want you to forget me
But I’d like for you to hold on to my face
My eyebrows, my African nose and my teeth
You saw me
I need you to unsee me
I don’t want you to know me like that
You saw my heart and what it loves, you saw how I love
You saw me scared, trembling uncontrollably and panicking
You heard me think
You journied into my nostalgia
You saw me figure parts of myself out
Its all so private and personal
None of it is yours
I don’t want it to be

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moarrrmagazine:

SATURDAY MORNING CUTIES 
Crackhouse 

This week’s cutie is not a music video, and it’s deffo not for kids. The crackstep driven animation of Martinus Klemet is about cats and their nine lifes. 

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Anomalous Person

You have beautiful eyes
They show vulnerability
You exaggerate when you try to hide how fragile you are
I see you sometimes
It makes me work really hard so that you don’t have to be that strong
I want to give you a break
I’d like to

Today we spoke and connected deeper than we ever have before
We found matching items in our idiosyncrasy boxes
We have a date to talk some more tomorrow
You’d like to talk to me about God

You are my promo director
Your vision is in my hands
This is too big for me and I am scared
I am not ready for it and I imagine I am going to hate giving you something that is less than amazing

You are an anomaly, poking my curiosity
Tonight, as I fall asleep, I am losing my self in the fantasies of feeding my curiosity
What do you feel
How do you perceive the world
What does this art thing mean to you

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Your dreams are a hundred
thousand feet tall and bullet
proof. Sometimes passion
means running with your eyes
closed and your hands empty;
this isn’t going to be easy.
Once you heard someone say
you could be anything and
you’ve been an arrow ever
since. It’s this or nothing.
anne, head first (via anneisrestless)

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About Last Night

I leaned in to kiss you
I had buckets full of goodness on the tip of my tongue just waiting to spill into you
I was caught up in some splendid wonder of how well you would receive my bliss
I was wrong to assume you would receive me at all
You kissed me back with resistance
I asked you to wrap your arms around me and hold tight, instead you undressed my embrace from your body the way one takes off a t-shirt they don’t really want to wear
You started crying
Softly and quietly at first
Then you gushed the entire flood of your weeping
You wept as if all the pain you’d felt in your entire life had collected in that one moment
I kept asking you what’s wrong
You gave me so many different answers between your sobbing
I felt sorry
Not for you but on behalf of the bearer of all the injustices you’d suffered your whole life

I told you to get over your emotions, to let go of whatever it was that was making you upset so that there’d be space for what I wanted to give you
Some happiness

I could read you considering the prospect as if your thoughts were writing themselves out on your forehead
You let go

You had been so tightly fastened in yourself, it was a marvel watching you become undone
I sat at your feet with cupped hands to collect all your little pieces as you disassembled
I drank up all your tears so as to leave no evidence that you had cried, hugged you, so that in your reminiscing you’d have something good to remember about a man
Every man before that moment had been some kind of bad
I was there to be some kind of good
You said you didn’t deserve it
Well, I think you are worthy of a lil tenderness and I have plenty to give you

You had been guarding yourself from me as if you were desperate for protection from being hurt

I told you this

When I first saw you, all I could think of was how happy I wanted to be with you, all I could think of since that day were the infinite things I could do to make you feel good

you told me how nice it felt to be fussed over, how much better it felt to allow it.

We sat in silence until the night sent you home, far away from my arms, I had hoped the morning would see you in them